By: Zuri Lovelace
She always looked forward to her family’s Superbowl parties every year. Not because she was particularly interested in football, but because she had an excuse to drink and eat as much as she wanted and spent precious time with her family and their friends. This year’s party was no different than the last, or so she thought.
While being completely oblivious to the game, she eagerly awaited the halftime show and downed one Lime-A-Rita after another. Her aunt had invited two of her friends, one an older man, closer to the age of her aunt and the other was slightly younger. His name was Jordan. She didn’t think too much of the small talk they shared here and there throughout the night, but he seemed nice enough.
A few weeks passed and she received a call from her aunt. They caught up on the usual family highlights and groans about work/school and the daily grind. They finished up their conversation and said their goodbyes when her aunt said, “Oh yeah, one more thing before I go. You have a secret admirer.”
She sat at the desk in her apartment, stunned. After literally racking her brain for the person that her aunt could be talking about, finally it hit her. It was Jordan. “Do you remember the young man Jordan, who came to the Superbowl party with my friend? Well it seems you left quite an impression.” She couldn’t even remember exactly what he looked like, let alone this apparent, alleged impression!
“Now, he is slightly older than you so, I am telling you now because I do not want to get in trouble with your parents,” she said as she laughed. He was 35. She couldn’t believe it. Not only did he not look that old but she also couldn’t believe she caught the attention of someone 14 years her senior. She and her aunt exchanged conversation back and forth about Jordan and his interests. At the end of the conversation, she was left with his phone number.
She was at a crossroads. What the hell was she going to do with this number? Should she strike up a conversation with a man she barely remembered and an older one at that? Or should she just tuck it in the back of her mind, never to use it again?
If she was honest with herself, she could admit that the age difference between them was a thrill to say the least. It made her feel…a little powerful. She had the ability to catch the attention of someone older than her. She thought about all the stories she had heard about the benefits of dating older men; how they were more mature, financial secure, more established and experienced and just had the overall ability to be able to do and be more than men her own age. She thought it could have been a welcome change from the college dating scene (if you could even call it “dating”). Plus, it would make for some juicy stories to share with her friends.
She decided to text him. That’s how their conversations started off. Then they had a few phone calls. Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe how she felt. She spent so much time making sure that she didn’t come off as “young” that she probably came off more naive than ever. They kept in contact. She felt herself feeding and yearning for his seasoned energy. He told her things she’d never heard of , and she kept imagining some of the things they would get to do together. Trust, that it wasn’t a typical meetup on Thirsty Thursday, like she was used to doing.
Four weeks after their first conversation, their schedules finally lined up to go out on a date. A movie premiere in downtown DC. She was anxious, of course, so prior to the date she made herself a little liquid courage to help her relax. She mixed it in a bottle and took it with her as she took the metro into the city. Finally, she was able to see him for the first time since the party. He definitely was cuter than she remembered and tall. He had just come from a conference so she didn’t completely knock him for his outfit, although he did look nice in his button up.
They talked while they waited in line for movie. To her surprise, things had stalled. Their conversation was not as lively as the times they had talked on the phone. He was more concerned with fidgeting with his watch than engaging in any type of conversation. She chalked it to first-date jitters, although given his age, he should be over that stage by now.
After they filed into the theater, she tried to joke with him while they waited for the movie. Unfortunately, his sense of humor was…dry. Trying to get on the same level would prove more of a challenge than she thought. The movie started; it was Gone with Amanda Seyfried, you know, the ditzy one from Mean Girls? She’d seen the trailer for the movie multiple times and thought it looked good. And it was, at least the parts that she could concentrate on.
Jordan made comments throughout the. entire. movie. It was almost like he felt obligated to dumb the movie down for her and at the same time add his ridiculously unnecessary comments. It was like he needed to establish some kind of dominance. She even brushed that off and let it go. She wanted to stay in this “older man” façade.
After the movie, they went out for drinks. Even though he suggested it, he joked about how he was surprised that she was “old enough to drink”. The comment slightly annoyed her. But still she carried on with the date. She just knew that it would be worth it in the end.
When they got to the bar her ordered a drink for her, with gin, even after she told him she didn’t like gin.
“Just trust me on this. I’m telling you, I know best, and I never have suggested anything bad before.”
The drink was disgusting. She babysat it for a good 40 minutes. The whole time during which she listened to Jordan drone on and on about himself in the most self-absorbed way possible, he considered himself successful and he obviously wanted others to as well. He hogged most of the conversation and talked about any and everything. One time, she tried to get a word in edgewise, just to ask a question, and he told her to “hold on dear” and proceeded with his orated biography. Everything was off about this! Their body language wasn’t even in sync. Was this the same man she had talked to on the phone?
He ordered her another drink that was as gross as the first one. They got a few appetizers, while he ate like he hadn’t eaten in public in months. Finally, they started having a normal two-way conversation. It was more like him talking at her than talking with her. She started to realize that the seemingly charming man she talked to on the phone was not all her was cracked up to be in the flesh. He had a wild tendency to be in the position of authority, even in the short time they were together that night. He demanded that last word, with the constant need redirected conversation. He even had to order the drinks, regardless if she hated them.
He started to sound like Charlie Brown’s teacher. He laughed uncontrollably and loudly at his own jokes and for him to talk as much as he did, he sure spent a lot of time on his phone. He ordered drink after drink, which spiraled into a one man burping competition. YUCK! Things were going downhill and she was looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. At the end of the night he made them split the bill. He didn’t ask, he didn’t suggest, he told her what her half of the bill was and started up on another conversation again. That was IT. She reluctantly took her bank card out of her purse, in complete disbelief. Her established “older man” was a dud in real life.
There was plenty of time for reflection on that long train ride home. She thought about her first date with Jordan and her future with older men. It definitely did not prove to be all maturity and wisdom like she had thought. Her intuition was telling her that there was more out there.
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