Desparado

By: Gena

Sittin’ in a ole Monte Carlo… just kidding!

Butterflies filled her stomach as they finally met in person , smack in the middle of a suburban coldesac, surrounded by rows of twin houses and luxury cars in the driveway.

The setting totally shocked her, being that everything about him screamed urban paradise. From his tone, his dress, the things he spoke about , it all contradicted the present location. Guess you can never judge a book by the impersonator. no

Anyway, he stood 6’1, brown, handsome, with a gorgeous smile. She sat in the car, with chills from the crisp autumn air, mesmerized as he continued on  his tangent of saying all of the right things.

“Like….basically how I feel, I’m the type of dude that likes to have a girlfriend. I don’t remember the last time I was single,” he said.

She smiled, relieved. “So what does that mean?,” she asked.

 “It means that I’ve been in relationships since I was able to date. I like relationships. I wanna be single for right now, but I know that won’t last long,” he said.

“Well I’m in no rush myself, however, I’m tired of wasting my time with guys who have no intention about working towards a relationship. It’s like no.. ” He rudely interrupted with a confident “Yeah I’m not them.”

One month later, 2 dates, a couple night caps, constant phone conversations/ FT sessions morning , noon , and night…she was hooked. From his own mouth , he said that they were on the “relationship track,” and that he sees himself long term with her. Her sights were set on the end goal so hard, that she ignored several critical flaws about him:

-Strained family relationships, which caused him to live with his grandmother. where she was told she could never visit. He hadn’t planned on introducing her, being that it was so soon to his last relationship.

-Multiple lies about simple things, that she often caught and he couldn’t clear up.
-Dating other women ( although they were on the relationship track ….what a joke!)
-Not to mention the unstable job… And with little to no revenue coming in it caused him to continuously make excuses to not see her.
-Time went on as shit became more confusing about their “situation-ship”. The train of infatuation heading on the “relationship track”   had detoured several times.

She had no idea what the fuck was going on. He recommended that they shouldn’t have sex, until they were serious. She was tempted, but obliged. There were tons of other ways that she kept him satisfied.

Suddenly,  this “other girl” with a kid, came about. He seemed to be obsessed with her. She kept making tons of appearances within their conversations, calls interrupting their dates, texts impeding  on their conversations. In other words, she was becoming a fucking problem. She even appeared on his Instagram as a WCW. “His standards are set pretty low,” she thought. He convinced her that she had nothing to worry about. They were “just friends.” Again, another flaw ignored.

They’d spent the BIG 3 together.  Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Year’s Eve.

She took the plunge and introduced him to the family during Thanksgiving, but he never bothered to do the same. In between Thanksgiving and Christmas, they spoke about exchanging Christmas gifts. It had been the first time any man had been wiling to participate.

One week before Christmas, he decided to scrounge up a few pennies to treat his favorite “friend” to a ticket to a basketball game. Regardless of everything they had discussed, there was no title. She felt as if she couldn’t say anything or stop him from doing so. She pretended to be okay with it.

A call from her best friend confirmed her inner thoughts. She seemed to have witnessed more than a friendly outing at the basketball game via snapchat. Apparently, they were snuggled up, engaging as if it were a date. He posted her with hearts across the screen, as if he were in love She felt so fucking stupid. She lashed out via  text ending it all.

Three days later and no response from him. She was both shocked and hurt.  At least he could’ve responded with an okay, she thought.

She texted, asking how he felt about everything and why he hadn’t responded. Of course it resulted in a meetup. Christmas Eve to be exact. They sat at dinner to talk about the situation. He sincerely apologized and reassured that he was only interested in her and that he wanted to continue to

 Work towards the relationship. She was sucked right back into him. He slept over that night.

New Year’s Eve rolled around and they spent it together. He seemed distracted as if there were some other place he’d rather be. On Christmas Eve, they had agreed that the he’d tell her if he was no longer interested. She reflected on that, hoping he’d tell the truth. “I wanna be here with you. I’m just chilling, relax man.” So they sat apart on the couch for hours, watching TV , not speaking to one another.

 “At least it was New Years Eve,” she thought.  12:00am, he texted Happy New Year and she was satisfied in his reassurance. By January 4th, they had barely spoken to one another. He was all of sudden tired and sleepy from his on again, off again job.

She texted, asking when they could see each other again. He texted, idk, I’ve been busy. I’ll get back to you. She texted,  cool, pretending it didn’t bother her. So many emotions going through her head and everything was telling her  just to end it. He was not the guy for her. He lacked honesty, confidence, ambition, emotion, respect.. All of the things she deserved in a man Maybe they were close, but she knew he didn’t deserve her. She’d spoken about the situation with several friends who told her to end it. She was finally fed the fuck up.

1 hour later she picks up her phone to send her final text, as one from him came through. The text  read ” We just should be friends.” Even as fucked up as it looked and so grammatically incorrect,  it felt worse to read. It was just another rejection added to her growing list of men in their 20s.

She contacted him consistently for days asking all sorts of questions, demanding his attention and his company. Finally, acceptance began to take root and by the month of February, it .. Was… Completely … Over.