Category: Posts By Toni

By: Toni

It was a Saturday evening and she sat home alone on the phone with her best friend, Ashley. Every time she tried to speak, she was interrupted by Ashley’s boyfriend. Instead of hanging up, she dealt with the rudeness because she was just that bored.

“ Toni?”
“ Let me guess. You’re about to hang up right Ashley?”
“ Sorry. We just wanna lay down and watch a movie in silence.”
“ Jealous.”
“ Don’t be. I told you what to do, but you don’t wanna listen to me.”
“ I’m not that desperate Ashley.”
“ Online dating does not equal desperation. It’s 2016.”
“ I’ll pass.”
“ Don’t say I never tried to help you.”
“ Later Ash.”

Toni hangs up and then slowly peruses the app store. “I’m not that desperate. But I am that bored,” she sadly tells herself. She clicks “download” on the Soul Swipe app and begins setting up her page.

By: Toni

She looked at the time on her computer screen what felt like every two seconds. It was now 6:01. I know he said 5:30, but he’s in the health profession. They never get off the time they say they are, she thought to herself. She reopened her notes and got back to work to kill more time. Her work bestie passed and did a double take- shocked to see her still sitting there. Normally she’s out of the door 5pm sharp.

“Girl, what are you still doing here?”

She wanted to tell her about the exciting doctor visit, but decided to keep this matter herself. What married woman wants to hear about another woman being asked out by a married man?

“I’m just finishing up this assignment. Don’t feel like doing work at home,” she lied.

“Right! Today is Thursday!”

She sat there confused. “What does that mean?”

“Greys. Scandal. How to get away with Murder!”

“Oh right! Yes I just want to eat my popcorn and sip on my wine. Not think about work.”

Her phone rang. An unknown number popped up and she quickly answered. She thought about canceling and using Shondaland Thursdays as an excuse, but in reality she was just extremely nervous.

By: Toni

It was the second semester of her freshmen year and she had been patiently waiting for the time to come. All winter break she was prepping for her night alone with her senior boo. It was his last semester and she planned to leave a stamp on his dick that he wouldn’t forget even after he became an alum.

She first noticed him during Transition Week. He was a student leader and she envied every freshman that was in his group. She thought of ways to switch groups just to be closer to him, but decided to chill and wait for her moment. Her moment happened during Homecoming Week at the Two Dolla’ Holla. If you were to google “liquor courage”, the Urban Dictionary will have her mug shot pop up across your screen. Most of her friends were avid drinkers before college, but her first drink was a few weeks prior for her roommate’s 18th birthday. Tonight was the night that caused her to know what the word “hangover” means.

By: Toni

Of course we all go to college to further our education. But there are other factors that come into play when one thinks of why they really attended college. One of the more important factors of going away to school, was to get the full college experience. She attended a HBCU hoping to get a feel of what ‘A Different World’ was like. The goal was to gain lifelong friends, connections, and last but definitely not least, the love of her life. She was searching for the Dwayne to her Whitley.

Finally the race took off. She dated a guy from Jersey, another from Florida, one from California, and attempted to date a dude from Philly. But after twenty minutes into their first phone conversation, there was no need for a date because the desire was gone. The Land of Fuck Boy and its descendants have migrated to other cities and  were currently residing in Philly. She concluded that the epitome of Fuckboyizm lied in the streets of 215 the way this guy spoke so recklessly.

Of all four of the guys, she had her favorite, like most women do. Something about those southern men from Florida. The sunshine state that quickly ends with tragic sunsets, where feelings get crashed and burned. Most of their dates consisted of ordering pizza, watching movies and corny romantic long conversation (the fuck boy playguide: authentic and familiar). Florida had become her new favorite past time. Then on the fourth pizza night, conversation and movies were no longer interesting. He was ready to serve a sausage that was not included as one of the toppings on the pie!

Her hope to find true love in her college career was over. In that moment she realized ‘A Different World’ may actually just be a television show and the character of Dwayne is only fictional.